The Next Leg of the Journey...

Life is like sailing. You can use any wind to go in any direction. ~Robert Brault~

Hello friends,

First, I want to begin by saying thank you for all the support over the past two years. In life, we truly find our strength, not in isolation, but by sharing and connecting with others, sharing the lessons we have learned along the way. I've learned so very much from all of you, and have been so humbled by your response to Stephen's story. With each person who has connected with me, I have felt his beautiful smile, and have been encouraged to keep writing, keep breathing, to simply keep going. Many days, you have all been my one little thing.

Almost a year ago, on July 4th, 2010, I was at a crossroads of sorts, wondering where to go with this "Gratitude in Grief." A year had passed since losing Stephen, but I was still broken, still hurting. But, I was also feeling hopeful for my future. I wondered should I continue on this path, or immerse myself back in "normal life." Whatever normal is anyway...

It was not until I started to clean out my office that the answer came. You see, I looked back to you for my answers. Since beginning this journey, and sharing my story, I have received (and responded to almost all...still working on it :-)) close to 10,000 emails from all of you. Words of wisdom, encouragement, support. In some emails, you bravely shared your own story, and I learned that each of us has a book within us. Many of you told me what you needed.

Hope, even in hardship.

Happiness, even in grief.

The ability to feel grateful for what remains, even in the bleakest of circumstances.

You gave me my answer. And so, I am pleased to invite you to the next leg of the journey,

"Just One Little Thing"

I've created a community of gratitude and resilience, a safe place where we can give each other a daily dose of what we need to keep going. The Facebook page is now up, but will be officially launching on July 4, 2011.

Join me by clicking on the link above, and "liking" the page. Then watch for the launch of the 4th! The Facebook page is just the beginning, and we've got some exciting plans for the coming months.

My goal is to get as many people to join as we can by the 4th. That's kind of my little thing for that day. So, invite your friends and tell them to invite theirs. Let's get the biggest group to continue this conversation. So, start inviting...

Thanks again for sharing so much of yourselves with me on this journey.

Kelly

p.s. After you like the page, go to the Join My List tab to sign up for Inbox Inspirations, a daily dose of inspiration to help you find your one little thing!

Toothy Grins from Heaven.....

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


Christmas shopping. It's just not as they portray it in the commercials. Where are the happy people dancing in sequence down the aisles, with cheery Christmas music blaring in the background?


On a recent shopping excursion, I believe I may have been sucked into a vortex of negativity, stuck in a store with the most negative people on the planet. I was bumped, and growled at; I was witness to more than one parent completely melting down with their children. I was also witness to more than one child not really understanding the "reason for the season. "

I find the holiday season to be bittersweet for me. As an occasion girl, I have always loved this time of year. But, as with anyone who has lost someone important, it is also a time when you are painfully reminded that there is one less person to shop for this year. Last year, I could barely breathe in the stores. I remember standing in a quiet aisle of car cleaning supplies just about this time a year ago drying my tears with one of those expensive wash clothes for your car (don't tell Target, but I put it back on the rack) I stood there for more than twenty minutes, simply trying to inhale so the pain in my chest would subside, and I could gather the remaining items on my list.

This year, I am stronger, but I still have moments where the thought of Christmas without Stephen is still very difficult to think about. It is especially hard when I shop, and I see things I know he would like, or laugh about. So, as you can probably imagine, my emotions were getting the best of me as I pushed my cart through the aisles of this store, and watched all of these people....just taking life for granted. One Mom in particular, she yelled at her little girl, and I had to physically remove myself from her presence so I did not confront her with the ravings of a bereaved parent. Did she not know how truly blessed she was to have this little girl looking up at her, even if it was only to ask for the $49.99 doll only days before Christmas?

In any case, all the growling and bumping and bah humbugging just got the best of me. And, when I pulled into the parking lot of the final store on my shopping excursion, I just sat in the car for a moment, and had.....well, a moment. I was missing Stephen, and thinking back over the Christmases gone by...in particular, I was remembering Christmas Eve when he was a small baby, maybe eight months old. He had these two lonely teeth at the bottom, and would grin on command and proudly show them to you.

So there I was, sitting in my car, reminiscing about the magic of Stephen at Christmas. Missing him, and wishing that I could explain to my fellow shoppers about the importance of being present in the moment, of just being happy because you never know what is around the corner.

I finally mustered up the courage to brave the final store, and stepped out of my car.

Where I was abruptly met by......

A toothy grin.

It was the toothy grin of a baby girl, out for a day of shopping with her mom. She was sitting in the cart, and she lit up as soon as we made eye contact, and her smile was brighter than any Christmas bulb I've ever seen. It was as if some invisible director pointed to her and yelled "Action!"

I burst out laughing, and the mother popped her head out of the car and smiled. I told her that her little sweetheart just made my day. Her mother replied that she does that, gives out those "two tooth smiles" just when you need it the most.

Boy, was she right.

So, two things to remember. Take a nice deep cleansing breath if you are shopping today. Think about the reason for the season, be present in the beauty that is now, don't miss it. Make a point to give away some smiles, I'm telling you, it works. And if it doesn't work, at least you'll make some people nervous.

Second thing, look for those toothy grins. I believe that God brings them to us when we need them the most, to show us He is listening and comforting us. It is up to us to look for and notice them.

Take some time today to spread some of the good stuff around,

Kelly

Fresh Coat of Paint...

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

I've come to a conclusion. Life is like one big painting project. Let me explain.

I've just finished up a painting project in my house. And, as is the story for most of my life, I never really thought the whole thing through. Instead, I plunged ahead, with the vision of perfection in this little brain of mine, and just starting swinging the brush.

But, as with most home improvement endeavours, once you open that can of paint, you realize there's a ton of things you did not take the time to consider before donning your super attractive paint shirt. You know the one, it has paint samples from every paint project since the early eighties.

To give you some examples, I did not consider:

• The ceiling height of our front foyer.



• The confirmed fear of heights as it relates to the ceiling height of the front foyer.



• That this project may only look manageable, but in four days, I will have a moment where I consider just living with a half painted wall. I will have a pretty convincing conversation with myself about how it would show individuality.


• That I actually am not sure about this new color. Perhaps I should have just left well enough alone.



• And finally, I did not consider that this project would confront me with the ugly truth about my housekeeping talents and serve as confirmation that I have not properly cleaned the baseboards since some time in 2007.

I'm telling you, this project was like a month of therapy. With each stroke of the brush, I examined each and every corner of my life. I thought a lot about what sort of mental space I was in the last time I painted these walls, and did wonder if I painted while blindfolded and drinking wine.

I thought a lot about change in life. And how we resist it or long for it, think about it and plan for it, run away from it or towards it.

Sometimes change in life comes in the form of a slap right up the side of your head. It comes as a wallop, knocking your current situation right out of your head.

Others, it is a gradual awakening to a new reality. It is left up to you to push the change forward.

Sometimes, you long for it. Sometimes, you don't.

But regardless of the origin, change comes. Change comes for everyone and everything. It is the nature of life.

So, I see life as a painting project. I picked my new color, jumped in, and realized I had no idea what I was doing. But, knowing that half painted wall that could not be undone, I decided to simply keep painting.

So, when life changes, whether by choice or design, just keep painting, one stroke at a time. If you do keep going, slow and steady, you may see that this fresh coat of paint on your life looks a little cleaner than the last one. You see that you are a better painter, having learned from your past mistakes and successes. You see the value of your hard work. Maybe you will learn to appreciate the new colors in your life, having a better understanding of how they got there.

The biggest thing to learn? That sometimes, life has to get really, really messy before it can be transformed into something beautiful. Sometimes, you just have to keep painting.

Today, I ask you to keep painting. It may not be beautiful yet, but it will be. It will be someday, because of your perseverance.

A Fresh coat of paint.

Grab your brushes,

Kelly

The Present...

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.-- Buddha

When our lives are in flux, especially with grief, we can find ourselves stuck, not able to move from the point of pain. We look to the past as the better days to which we long to return, and we worry about how we live in a future without our precious loved one by our side in a physical sense.

It is a natural response to the pain, to stop in your tracks.

But truly, as the quote implies, the only power we can have is on our own present moment. We have the power right now to smile, or to cry. We have the power to see what's wrong with the world or what's right. We have the power to choose happiness or despair. We have the power to notice our own failings and weakness, or our strength and resilience.

It is in the present moment that you will find peace. Allow yourself.....even if it is only for one minute.

Take time today to notice where your mind is taking you. Are you living in last year, next year or today?

The present.....it is a gift. Get it?

Have a tremendous Thursday,

Kelly