Lessons From the Road....

...he allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
~Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera~

Well, here we are once again. July 4th.

If you have been following along, you know that last year, I was running for the hills, trying to get away from the 4th of July. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the day. The day however, had different plans...


http://gratitudeingrief.blogspot.com/2010/07/parades-fire-trucks-and-remembering.html

So, this year, I was not afraid of the balloons, fireworks, the red, white or blue. I knew it would be a tough day, being two whole years since Stephen died. But I carried with me the lesson of last year, that it is okay to be happy on this day, even through tears. You don't need to, nor can you, run away from life.

My husband and I decided to get away and have a quiet 4th together, remembering a wonderful son and all the love he brought into our lives. We packed the car, made sure Rudy the Wonder Dog was comfortable, and off we went. About an hour into the drive we had to abruptly stop, as we came upon an accident that had happened just moments before. Saying a silent prayer, my mind was racing. I was thinking about the people involved and their families. I was reliving the call I received on the evening of July 4th, hoping that some mother or father would not have to experience a moment like that one.

We sat on the road for about an hour and forty five minutes as the responders worked feverishly to help the occupants of the vehicles. Two helicopters landed to airlift the critically injured.

It's hard to explain the range of emotions as we sat and watched this unfold. I prayed and prayed, hoping for a positive end to this story. Our fellow motorists, cars packed to the ceiling, mingled and talked quietly as they gazed towards the flashing lights.

We all realized it. It could be any one of us. If Mary hadn't been so long in the bathroom, if Joe didn't need to stop for another Diet Coke. It could be any of us.

As the State troopers directed the steady stream of traffic once the accident had been cleared, we slowly drove past the mangled vehicle. A lonely kayak lay overturned on the side of the road, dislodged from its carrier, no longer on the way to the beach.

I'm not sure what happened to those involved. I pray they are okay.

Two road trips trying to cope with the 4th of July have taught me two valuable lessons in life.

Last July, I learned that it is okay to let myself be happy, even on the tough days, even if that happiness is mixed with tremendous sadness.

This year, I was reminded that a happy life is to be lived now.

Today.

Because life can bring change with the blink of an eye.

So, on this July 4th, do me a favor. Consider this your Independence Day. Break free from the chains of past hurts and allow yourself to be happy. Don't let your future be dependent on what has happened to you up to this point. Let your life be defined by you.

For me, that independence means starting something new. I've created a new blog called Just One Little Thing

In it, I plan to continue the conversation about life and gratitude, with a focus on life. It is the next chapter. I do hope that you follow me. I've also created a facebook group where you can share your one little thing. I see this as part of Stephen's legacy, as I feel his smile with each bit of goodness that I share with others. It launched today. I wanted it to begin on the 4th, showing myself and others that happy and sad can coexist. Truthfully, one cannot exist without the other.

Today, my one little thing is a big thing. Today I am thankful for being Stephen's mom. My son, my teacher, he continues to show me the way.

I will leave you with a song by an amazing songwriter and artist, Chris Trapper. He wrote this song after the passing of a friend. I simply love it. I think if Stephen could put in a request, he would tell all of us to sing along.

Thanks for walking with me,

Kelly

The Gift of a Brand New Day

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." ~Mary Pickford~

A brand new day. How many times have you arrived home, flopped on the couch, turned on the TV and sighed, thinking, "Thank God that day is over."

We've all been there. A day we wished would simply end.

But let's be honest. How many of us, that very next morning, begin our brand new day thinking about all the negatives of the day before. How many of us let all those cumulative bad day negatives compound until our brand new day doesn't have a chance.

We need to practice at wiping the slate clean. And before some of you send me the email saying you cannot erase your past, let me finish. I don't mean forget or erase. I don't mean "move on", because as someone who has lost, I know how those two words can sting. I simply mean that life is important enough to deserve a second chance.

We have to be willing to start with a fresh new canvas, and give each new day the chance it deserves. If you are brave enough to release the hurts of the past, your world can open to all the possibilities that exist for you. You need to make room for the good stuff.

So, tomorrow, when you sit on the edge of the bed, ready to face the world, think of yourself as a blank canvas. Your mind, and your thoughts are your paint.

What masterpiece will you create?

Go be an artist,

Kelly

Have a listen to Joshua Radin in this quirky but applicable video. Love him.

Poisonous Caesar Salad and a Refresher Course in Gratitude...

When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep? ~George Canning

I've been so busy. Life has been moving way too fast, and I feel like I have hardly had a moment to sit with my own thoughts. Until yesterday.

You see, I had an encounter with a Caesar salad; I am not sure what I did to offend it or the cook in the kitchen at the restaurant where I ate it, but it poisoned me. While dining out with friends after my son's hockey game, I was almost killed by romaine lettuce, croutons, and dressing. Okay, this may be a little dramatic of me, but the past 48 hours has not been pleasant, not one bit.

In any case, I have had some time to think, as I waited for the next tsunami like wave of nausea to hit. And I've been thinking about gratitude. Because, it seems as my calendar became more full,my focus on gratitude was not kept on the top of my priority list. It is not to say I am not grateful, or did not express my thanks on a daily basis for the blessings in my life. But my attention to gratitude as a deliberate part of my day had fallen to the wayside a little, to make room for work projects, hockey travel, new release movies on demand, exercise etc. And, the conclusion I reached while nuzzled up to the toilet? My life is lacking because of it.

We humans. We don't make sense sometimes. We look around when the sky is falling and notice what has been around us all along and lament and cry out,

"Oh how I have loved all of this. I am so sad it is about to be squished by this falling sky. I did not say how much I appreciated it enough! But I do appreciate! I do! I do!"

But when things are ticking along, when the road is smooth, we forget and take for granted the little things that serve as the foundation of our happy lives. Instead of paying attention to them, they go unnoticed until somebody or something tries to take them away. Instead of recognizing them as the blessings of our time here on earth, we focus our attention on the length of the line as we wait for our chai tea latte, the flat tire, the negative personality we are forced to endure at a social event, or the fact that our waist circumference is not within the suggested parameters of Dr. Oz. It seems that when things are, in the big picture, going right, our human nature causes us to continue to find things that are wrong.

So, it is no wonder that when really bad things happen, we find it especially hard to find any good in our day to day lives. If we could not see it when the sky was blue, how can we be expected to find the good in the blinding rain?

It is all about training ourselves, our minds to refocus, to see life through a different lens. So, with the nausea subsiding, and my new found awareness, I am giving myself a refresher course in gratitude. I hope you will join me.

Each day this week, I will, as I have in the past, tell you about the simple things I find thanks for, as well as simple ways to find gratitude in your own life. I would also like to challenge you to do the same this week, and each day look for, and write down your one little thing.

Think about the little things that you can hold onto this week, and re shift your focus to see a life of abundance rather than lack, no matter what your circumstance. If you are so inclined, post your gratitude in the comments section of my posts. I love, love, love to hear from people, and each one of us is on an amazing journey.

Today, I am thankful for:

• Dry Toast
• Ginger Ale
• Gravol purchased in Canada last summer. I'm not sure why this is not available in the United States, but I praised God and all things holy yesterday when I found it in the cupboard.
• My husband, who takes such good care of me, but also laughs at me at the most inappropriate times.
• My son's caring concern.
• Fuzzy warm socks
• The love of my family
• Bubble baths and good books
• My best friend
• A nearly complete second book

And finally...

Food poisoning. It was the pause button for my life, and I needed it.

Join me this week. What's your one little thing?

Have a beautiful day,

Kelly