Lessons From the Road....

...he allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
~Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera~

Well, here we are once again. July 4th.

If you have been following along, you know that last year, I was running for the hills, trying to get away from the 4th of July. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the day. The day however, had different plans...


http://gratitudeingrief.blogspot.com/2010/07/parades-fire-trucks-and-remembering.html

So, this year, I was not afraid of the balloons, fireworks, the red, white or blue. I knew it would be a tough day, being two whole years since Stephen died. But I carried with me the lesson of last year, that it is okay to be happy on this day, even through tears. You don't need to, nor can you, run away from life.

My husband and I decided to get away and have a quiet 4th together, remembering a wonderful son and all the love he brought into our lives. We packed the car, made sure Rudy the Wonder Dog was comfortable, and off we went. About an hour into the drive we had to abruptly stop, as we came upon an accident that had happened just moments before. Saying a silent prayer, my mind was racing. I was thinking about the people involved and their families. I was reliving the call I received on the evening of July 4th, hoping that some mother or father would not have to experience a moment like that one.

We sat on the road for about an hour and forty five minutes as the responders worked feverishly to help the occupants of the vehicles. Two helicopters landed to airlift the critically injured.

It's hard to explain the range of emotions as we sat and watched this unfold. I prayed and prayed, hoping for a positive end to this story. Our fellow motorists, cars packed to the ceiling, mingled and talked quietly as they gazed towards the flashing lights.

We all realized it. It could be any one of us. If Mary hadn't been so long in the bathroom, if Joe didn't need to stop for another Diet Coke. It could be any of us.

As the State troopers directed the steady stream of traffic once the accident had been cleared, we slowly drove past the mangled vehicle. A lonely kayak lay overturned on the side of the road, dislodged from its carrier, no longer on the way to the beach.

I'm not sure what happened to those involved. I pray they are okay.

Two road trips trying to cope with the 4th of July have taught me two valuable lessons in life.

Last July, I learned that it is okay to let myself be happy, even on the tough days, even if that happiness is mixed with tremendous sadness.

This year, I was reminded that a happy life is to be lived now.

Today.

Because life can bring change with the blink of an eye.

So, on this July 4th, do me a favor. Consider this your Independence Day. Break free from the chains of past hurts and allow yourself to be happy. Don't let your future be dependent on what has happened to you up to this point. Let your life be defined by you.

For me, that independence means starting something new. I've created a new blog called Just One Little Thing

In it, I plan to continue the conversation about life and gratitude, with a focus on life. It is the next chapter. I do hope that you follow me. I've also created a facebook group where you can share your one little thing. I see this as part of Stephen's legacy, as I feel his smile with each bit of goodness that I share with others. It launched today. I wanted it to begin on the 4th, showing myself and others that happy and sad can coexist. Truthfully, one cannot exist without the other.

Today, my one little thing is a big thing. Today I am thankful for being Stephen's mom. My son, my teacher, he continues to show me the way.

I will leave you with a song by an amazing songwriter and artist, Chris Trapper. He wrote this song after the passing of a friend. I simply love it. I think if Stephen could put in a request, he would tell all of us to sing along.

Thanks for walking with me,

Kelly

Pema Chodron-We Just Don't Know....

When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don’t know what’s really going to happen. When we think something is going to give us misery, we don’t know. Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. We try to do what we think is going to help. But we don’t know. We never know if we’re going to fall flat or sit up tall. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know. ~Pema Chodron~

Happy Thursday y'all.

Just had to share this quote from Pema Chodron. Read it a couple of times and really think about how it might apply to your life. It really made me think.

It's all about the way you look at things. For your daily dose of positive perspective, join the new group on Facebook, Just One Little Thing.

Launching July 4th. Please like the page today and join me.

Have a good one,

Kelly

The Next Leg of the Journey...

Life is like sailing. You can use any wind to go in any direction. ~Robert Brault~

Hello friends,

First, I want to begin by saying thank you for all the support over the past two years. In life, we truly find our strength, not in isolation, but by sharing and connecting with others, sharing the lessons we have learned along the way. I've learned so very much from all of you, and have been so humbled by your response to Stephen's story. With each person who has connected with me, I have felt his beautiful smile, and have been encouraged to keep writing, keep breathing, to simply keep going. Many days, you have all been my one little thing.

Almost a year ago, on July 4th, 2010, I was at a crossroads of sorts, wondering where to go with this "Gratitude in Grief." A year had passed since losing Stephen, but I was still broken, still hurting. But, I was also feeling hopeful for my future. I wondered should I continue on this path, or immerse myself back in "normal life." Whatever normal is anyway...

It was not until I started to clean out my office that the answer came. You see, I looked back to you for my answers. Since beginning this journey, and sharing my story, I have received (and responded to almost all...still working on it :-)) close to 10,000 emails from all of you. Words of wisdom, encouragement, support. In some emails, you bravely shared your own story, and I learned that each of us has a book within us. Many of you told me what you needed.

Hope, even in hardship.

Happiness, even in grief.

The ability to feel grateful for what remains, even in the bleakest of circumstances.

You gave me my answer. And so, I am pleased to invite you to the next leg of the journey,

"Just One Little Thing"

I've created a community of gratitude and resilience, a safe place where we can give each other a daily dose of what we need to keep going. The Facebook page is now up, but will be officially launching on July 4, 2011.

Join me by clicking on the link above, and "liking" the page. Then watch for the launch of the 4th! The Facebook page is just the beginning, and we've got some exciting plans for the coming months.

My goal is to get as many people to join as we can by the 4th. That's kind of my little thing for that day. So, invite your friends and tell them to invite theirs. Let's get the biggest group to continue this conversation. So, start inviting...

Thanks again for sharing so much of yourselves with me on this journey.

Kelly

p.s. After you like the page, go to the Join My List tab to sign up for Inbox Inspirations, a daily dose of inspiration to help you find your one little thing!